302348JAN2005ZT
wad a day, finished painting my entire room (4 walls only) ...in baby blue...
when i moved in to my current place around 5 years ago i wanted my new room to have a dash of cobalt blue. and now years on, it time to repaint...this time the 4 walls are in baby blue...my dad mixed alot of white to make it more 'livlier'...i as thinking i'll be staying in a kid's room for another year....Ugh...so next time round, i'm gonna be choosing rose red for one of my walls ...to contrast the remaining 3 baby blue walls...
anyhow, painting's done...went and treated family to dinner at a west coast hawker centre...the usual 'zi cha' yumz...
but sighz...as i'm typing this i'm listening to the 1st ally mcbeal soundtrack. and the songs just struck me...as being so connected to me.. being alone...especially vonda shepard's voals on her song maryland. very simple and poetic...very serene...plus the few others like only wanna be with you and you belong to me...
sometimes i think i'm a wierdo...always like being alone with my thoughts, my own voice...singing out aloud with no one to hear, or playing my instruments. but sometimes the deafening silence can be too hard to bear alone...
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
The Part about feeling abit demoralised
211046JAN2005ZT-Log Supplimentary
am i losing my touch as an officer in SJAB? i seem to think so. my extended family is shrinking year by year. dreams planned now seem so far away. further...think kilometres and nautical miles...
esp doing my tenure as AO in BNCOC OPSCOM, my touch as an officer seems to be missing. i felt so out of place in the going ons of the committee. sighz...old age liaoz...so maybe my mom is right, justwait for the 10 yrs to be presented to me and get outta there. i canot be useful there anymore. i envy Colin, and though how busy he is, he still manages time for Boon Lay Corps, Zone youth affairs/CPBS and his role as a teacher. Wonder how and where he gets his energy from. i envy the yngr officers like DJ, Daniel, Zara, Lina, Tian Le. they are fortunate as they've alot more to go. for me, i'll be goin off maybe soon, maybe sooner than later...
am i losing my touch as an officer in SJAB? i seem to think so. my extended family is shrinking year by year. dreams planned now seem so far away. further...think kilometres and nautical miles...
esp doing my tenure as AO in BNCOC OPSCOM, my touch as an officer seems to be missing. i felt so out of place in the going ons of the committee. sighz...old age liaoz...so maybe my mom is right, justwait for the 10 yrs to be presented to me and get outta there. i canot be useful there anymore. i envy Colin, and though how busy he is, he still manages time for Boon Lay Corps, Zone youth affairs/CPBS and his role as a teacher. Wonder how and where he gets his energy from. i envy the yngr officers like DJ, Daniel, Zara, Lina, Tian Le. they are fortunate as they've alot more to go. for me, i'll be goin off maybe soon, maybe sooner than later...
The Part of doing Guard Duty..on a Holiday
212223JAN2005ZT
ARGHZZZ...i'm here in SQn. tomorrow there would be a meeting of teachers at CT and i'm stuck here. and i'll only be 'released' at around 1000 hours. i'm dead...i'm supposed to be doing a presentation on SJAB-Z9-MAE tomorrow and Colin will be doing it alone. Not that Colin is unable to do it himself, but aiyah..just feel that i'm abandoning him and leaving him to the er...vultures...vultures of different sizes.
I'm sure to be missing alot at the meeting. For one, the discussion on the C-Trng and 5 day work week. MAE, plus the years trng prgm laid out by the Zone Trng Dept.
oh well, duty to the nation coems first. what to do right...sighz...
on the off-hand, a few interested parties seem to be msging n calling me. but more often than not, its once bitten twice shy kinda thing...sianz, so thus i'm not being too overly optimistic or happy. juz plain neutral with a twist of caution.
ARGHZZZ...i'm here in SQn. tomorrow there would be a meeting of teachers at CT and i'm stuck here. and i'll only be 'released' at around 1000 hours. i'm dead...i'm supposed to be doing a presentation on SJAB-Z9-MAE tomorrow and Colin will be doing it alone. Not that Colin is unable to do it himself, but aiyah..just feel that i'm abandoning him and leaving him to the er...vultures...vultures of different sizes.
I'm sure to be missing alot at the meeting. For one, the discussion on the C-Trng and 5 day work week. MAE, plus the years trng prgm laid out by the Zone Trng Dept.
oh well, duty to the nation coems first. what to do right...sighz...
on the off-hand, a few interested parties seem to be msging n calling me. but more often than not, its once bitten twice shy kinda thing...sianz, so thus i'm not being too overly optimistic or happy. juz plain neutral with a twist of caution.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
The Part with Thoughts on the Mind & Shopping...
160914JAN2005ZT
...Which can be hazardous to my health...and to a certain extend, hazardous to others as well.
too many thoughts..too many brain cells exhausintg themselves and dying...too many daydreams...too many thoughts coursing through my little brain. phew..overload...
received my orders to proceed to Brunei for the February Detachment. will be away from Feb 14th to March 9th. Funny, flying away on Valentines Day...well its not like I'm going to to sing 'Leavin on a jet plane' anyway...
SJAB EX-CO meeting today coupled with aircraft maintenance briefs, Corps discussions...another round of meetings lectures and briefings...plus some queit contemplations on how to proceed with my 2nd assignment. going to be braindead with the info overload.
urgh....
...Which can be hazardous to my health...and to a certain extend, hazardous to others as well.
too many thoughts..too many brain cells exhausintg themselves and dying...too many daydreams...too many thoughts coursing through my little brain. phew..overload...
received my orders to proceed to Brunei for the February Detachment. will be away from Feb 14th to March 9th. Funny, flying away on Valentines Day...well its not like I'm going to to sing 'Leavin on a jet plane' anyway...
SJAB EX-CO meeting today coupled with aircraft maintenance briefs, Corps discussions...another round of meetings lectures and briefings...plus some queit contemplations on how to proceed with my 2nd assignment. going to be braindead with the info overload.
urgh....
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