Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Part about Living Life as it Is

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its funny how things all change so fast. one moment i was unemplyed, the next, swamped with work at my 1st permanent job. i've been gainfully employed as a trainee operations specialist in a swedish/norwegian oil tanker management company. prospects are good as the company is making waves in the CPP sector of the oil tanker market. there is so much to learn and do while managing those ships. i'm glad i've had a chance at doing one of the dream jobs i've long wanted. there is a long way more on the journey, this road i'm taking...but i'm glad i took it. gives me a sense of purpose now, other than moping around and feeling hopeless and feeling sorry for myself. and on top of that the perks and remuneration is somewhat better then what my poly classmates/ns batchmates are currently receiving. the tradeoff is that the work is almost 24/7, meaning having to keep tabs on the ships eveyday and the long hours during the weekdays. thankfully i can log on from home to access the company emails during the weekends, and spending half an hour isn't that bad either.

i've left clementi town. i finally did it. i'm wasn't that happy when i did so but i've been wanting to let go for so long now. i used to be unable to do so without a guilty conscience-leaving the kids to their fate etc., but friends have told me, if iwasn't able to take care of myself now, when will i start to? when i'm one foot into the grave perhaps? they were right in a way, i was being used and thrown aside like tissue paper. my junior volunteers all felt the same way-they saw how the school treated me and thus, as a result, did not want to volunteer like i did.

this 'letting go' has been somewhat of a bittersweet release for me. but i've begun to savour it. savour it and embraced it like a long lost lover-the freedom which i yearned for, without the incessant need to take care of a bunch of ungrateful teenagers, have finally intoxicated me. i felt a great burden finally lifted of my shoulders at long last. now at sjab nhq, the work being offered there is less taxing and i'm working with a bunch of dedicated, committed, like-minded fellow volunteers...not teachers, not cadets, but my fellow volunteer officers. the good thing is that we're all tuned to the same frequency and thats doing something for the benefit of the whole brigade in general.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The Part about....Multiple Parts....

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I've officially ORDed from NS on 22nd December 2005. Funny though, doesn't make much of a difference. Everyone keeps saying that MINDEF gave me back my freedom as a Chrismas present, but I'd beg to differ. Soon, I'll be working and then I'll cry my 'loss' of freedom due to work.

Been for a few job interviews already. Previously I'd screwed up my 1st 2 interviews, realising that I should be marketing and 'selling' myself, I bucked up and got myself placed for a few more interviews, even to firms which were not hiring at the moment. One was however, willing to create a post for me-so thus, perhaps I scored on that point. However, the drive to excel and find that dream 1st job has drained. Though I've been lucky to garner a few, it seems that for some reason, I'm starting to get depressed...again...perhaps my self esteem and confidence took a nose dive then I've posted applications and emails to at least 80+ companies and only a few were willing to interview me. A few were decent to at least reply my email saying that they had
no vacancies. It irks me to find that certain companies are just downright rude and aren't being civil.

Christmas & New Year has come and past. While I'm writing this, I certainly feel consigned to my fate. I'm certainly loved and blessed to have my family and a few friends (old and relatively new) , namely, Justin, Norain, Marcus, Simon, Siti, Cliff, Colin, who have given me so much encouragement. If you guys are reading this, I just wanna say thanks for lifting me up. =) Esp, Justin & Norain, we had a great time on that 1st day Monday of the new year.

SJAB wise, I've handed my appointment of Corps Officer in Charge to one of my 2 teachers in CTSS. Think she'll do a great job with all the assistacne from the kids. I've done my part for the past 7 years? (1999 to 2005) and its time for a change in leadership. I can't remain relevant to the kids anymore since I can't be present at their instructional meetings most of the time and thus have relagated myself as the unit advisor. I've however, expanded my unofficial portfolio at NHQ, with me and Colin processing the entire Brigade's CPBS. A feat to accomplish considering we have to takre care of our careers, own units anf the Zone. Hopefully, we'll get more help soon.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Part about Defending yourself from what people say behind your back....

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...by refuting their claims with good work and silencing your critics. Who am i referring to? Well, these people are senior officers from the Brigade at HQ level. My gawd, these people are a disgrace to the SJAB uniform and unfit to be officers. Bunch of misfit psyched-up hussies. Their only claim to fame is their tongue wagging and boot licking.

I was hoping that I would not be dragged into too much politics but its time to defend myself and those no-deserving of their claims. I would comment on this-they choose their enemies poorly by having me and my mentors, and colleagues as their enemies... God, whom is omipotent and merciful, won't save them... For sake of explanation: lets call them the Sissy Bas (a him)& Nosey Bit (a her). Bloody matching pair i'd call them..should have married each other instead...

We've been carrying out the successful re-vamped system of invigilating, marking and processing of the Knowledge of The Order of St John Exam (KSJ for short). Cadets in SJAB need to pass this exam and obtain a badge under the Cadet Proficiency Badge Scheme. In order to get acheivement badges such as the Commissioner (3 CCA points in their sch report) or Chief Commissioner Badge (5 CCA points), they would be requried to pass the KSJ exam and get the KSJ badge.

What took the previous Development (CPBS) committee under Sissy Bas with assistance of Nosey Bit, did was nothing much. They LENGHTHEND processing time not only for the KSJ badges, but all the badges under the CPBS. we've cajoled, complained, but nothing was done. In the end, all the development officers from all the zones, juz sat with our hands under our collective arse till the situation got better. Due to something classified that occured involving one of my closest friend, both Sissy Bas and Nosey Bit resigned in protest. In retrospect, I'm thinking that our Committee chairman (a level headed senior officer) strategised by not doing anything so they'd 'make noise and resigned anyway. He then reformed the new committee and luckily for us, our cadets and the teachers we interact with, things got back to normal and now processes are done in a flexible and efficient manner. the KSJ exam was an example of how effective the new committee was handling things..

For the KSJ exam, we invigilated the cadets coming for the exam, marked their answer scripts, processed the results by tabulating on MS Excel, (absentees, failures and those who passed) and issuing certificate numbers to successful candidates so that the respective zone officers can print out certs and present it to them. we did all this in ONE OR TWO days... the max time to close out processing done for that ONE slot of the exam was ONE WEEK. the previous management took SIX TO EIGHT months for that ONE SLOT. amazing isn't it? can u imagine my poor friend chasing and howling after them for the results of an exam slot conducted months before?

now the two of them (Sissy & Nosey) have begun saying that since we've not done our job by saying that since they did not see us when we were at NHQ, they presumed that we were holding back on our work. Very fortunately, we've got proof of our work accomplished and this proof has even reached the eyes and ears of the big boss, the Chief Commissioner. Heh~ one day..i shall stroll up to them and mention our accomplishments right in their hard-arsed faces...

its people like Sissy Bas and Nosey Bit that kinda put me off from volunteering much. I do enjoy my work in SJAB. Its rewarding, fulfilling and your get a sense of pride as the work your doing is benefitting others. Sissy and Nosey apparently forget that ultimately they serve society on a macro-viewed whole. They prefered to get promoted and win awards. I'd laff like silly at them to think if anyone would want to promote them. I fantasized that the Big Boss might wanna casually persuade them to "retire".. heh~ that to me will be satisfaction guaranteed.

For me, I take it that my service to the brigade benefits our cadets around the island-as they enjoy their time with the brigade and earn as much CPBS as they go. Earning even a Commissioner badge was something I took for granted when I was a cadet. I hope that no other cadet this day and age would make the same mistake i made.

To those two arrogant up-tights, my message to them is this:

--You've chosen your enemy most poorly and unwisely.
--You were not wise to get me involved in a war which I wanted no part of. Now that you have chosen me as your nemesis-you are now fair game to me.
--Since vampires don't enter homes uninvited...you've just invited me in...

The Part about Me on a Job hunt & others....

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i've started looking for a job. hopefully i'll be in a ship management company doing fleet operations or ending up as a shipbroker. two cool jobs with a reasonable starting salary-heh~..juz hoping i'll get one...

been sending out tons of resumes with cover emails...but only 2 fish bit the line so far:

...the 1st one is a bunker (marine fuel) company offering a position of operations executive. it started out pretty fast...responded to their ad they posted on a online-job listing site, which i found on a day off (monday morning) with my resume. then got a call from the HR manager asking for an interview on the same day in the afternoon. went for the interview, thought i did badly-only to find out a few hours later that i was requested to go for a 2nd interview the following tuesdae! woah fast! so i'm waiting for the reply now. its been two weeks and i can't help feeling anxious waiting. Friends tell me its natural that companies take 2 weeks to reply as they might be considering other candidates as well.

...the 2nd one is gonna be a phone interview...2mr in fact..with a shipbroking company. the guy who called me sounds scandinavian and very drawl...

surprisingly, my godbro's mom is with a maritime company-i'm counting my blessings and hope that i get the company email soon, so that i can start with the email frenzy again...

heh~wish me luck peeps.