The Part about Living Life as it Is

151042APR2006LT

its funny how things all change so fast. one moment i was unemplyed, the next, swamped with work at my 1st permanent job. i've been gainfully employed as a trainee operations specialist in a swedish/norwegian oil tanker management company. prospects are good as the company is making waves in the CPP sector of the oil tanker market. there is so much to learn and do while managing those ships. i'm glad i've had a chance at doing one of the dream jobs i've long wanted. there is a long way more on the journey, this road i'm taking...but i'm glad i took it. gives me a sense of purpose now, other than moping around and feeling hopeless and feeling sorry for myself. and on top of that the perks and remuneration is somewhat better then what my poly classmates/ns batchmates are currently receiving. the tradeoff is that the work is almost 24/7, meaning having to keep tabs on the ships eveyday and the long hours during the weekdays. thankfully i can log on from home to access the company emails during the weekends, and spending half an hour isn't that bad either.

i've left clementi town. i finally did it. i'm wasn't that happy when i did so but i've been wanting to let go for so long now. i used to be unable to do so without a guilty conscience-leaving the kids to their fate etc., but friends have told me, if iwasn't able to take care of myself now, when will i start to? when i'm one foot into the grave perhaps? they were right in a way, i was being used and thrown aside like tissue paper. my junior volunteers all felt the same way-they saw how the school treated me and thus, as a result, did not want to volunteer like i did.

this 'letting go' has been somewhat of a bittersweet release for me. but i've begun to savour it. savour it and embraced it like a long lost lover-the freedom which i yearned for, without the incessant need to take care of a bunch of ungrateful teenagers, have finally intoxicated me. i felt a great burden finally lifted of my shoulders at long last. now at sjab nhq, the work being offered there is less taxing and i'm working with a bunch of dedicated, committed, like-minded fellow volunteers...not teachers, not cadets, but my fellow volunteer officers. the good thing is that we're all tuned to the same frequency and thats doing something for the benefit of the whole brigade in general.